...

(march 08)

Driving around unknown parts of the metroplex was fruitful this evening, and not cause I found places to apply, no. What happened was, as I was making a u-turn in this one shopping center I saw these words, bright and glowing and sparkly: NICKEL MANIA!
It appears to be sort of a Chuck-E-Cheese thing but you don't have to be a child. There were adults in there, playing. Lots of video games! And pizza! And this has been there all along. When I see things like this, that's when it really hits home that I'm not involved enough in society.

Also, on the way back, I noticed what appeared to be a very well-organized, color-coded and slow moving traffic jam over to the left, and I thought, what highway is that? (it was dark.) And then I looked again and realized, it was an airport. And then it hit me! That's the airport my mom used to drop us off at in the summertime to see movies, roller skate, AND ice skate. All 3 in one, and I'm for real. We used to go back and forth from rink to rink for hours on end. But I also happen to have a really bad memory of that place. It involves a horror movie.

One time my mom said to us, when she was dropping us off, "Have fun and whatever you do, don't sneak in the adult movies." So naturally we did. And of course, it was right in time for one of the worst visuals I have ever witnessed. All I saw was maybe 10 seconds of this flick but it was enough to scar me for life. I remember seeing a woman in the woods who was watching some kind of horrible ritual sacrifice thing. It disturbed me for months, but not as bad as the after-effect of being made to watch The Excorcist one evening with my family. I remember my parents fighting, my mom saying, No they're too young! And my dad saying, Don't baby them! It's good for them to see scary things! And so like any other good wholesome family evening, we all sat together on the couch under blankets and watched The Excorcist together. I was about 7 years old. To this day I cannot look at anything to do with scenes from that movie.





....

(january 09)

Two nights ago I had a disturbing dream. I found myself standing inside an apartment, and there were two other people there, a man and a woman. The woman stood yelling at me, emotionally and upset, making no sense to me. The man hid in the bedroom. I did not see him, but I knew he was with the woman. He was avoiding the situation, hiding.

I wanted to be away from these two people. In the dream, I sensed that I had been living with them. They seemed to be "over" me, as in, parental figures, but they were not my parents. I knew I did not want to be around them any more.

I found a key and left, turning to lock the door behind me. The lock on the outside of the door was not a regular lock. It was a padlock. As I turned the key, I sensed that this couple was being locked in this place, unable to escape. I was aware of this, and left anyway.

I chose to have nothing to do with them.

~*~

These past few days have been very intense for me spiritually. I'm being shown many things, and being convicted of some things. Communication is what God is coming down pretty hard on me over right now. He has shown me that these two people in the dream represent two negative forms of communication that I am familiar with, being ways that I personally have coped with situations, and also people that I know. The woman represented emotional outbursts, the man represented passivity and avoidance. Neither one is effective.

I have been praying for God to show me a better way. I "know" the better way- I read it in the Bible, I hear it spoken of- but I have never been able to achieve it on a consistent basis. He's showing me exactly what it means to communicate properly.

It's a good feeling to humble yourself before the Lord. It's a good feeling to unclench your fists and let go, to ask for, and receive instruction.

I lack nothing because I have Jesus Christ. He meets my every need. Last night as I cried, leaning against the wall in prayer, I asked Him to hug me.

I have been single for years, hugs are becoming a foreign concept to me. I am chaste, in every sense of the word. I have only a small handful of friends that I can confide in, and even among them, I am reserved, guarding my heart with the utmost care. I save my tears for Jesus.

What are you struggling with?

Do you know that He can meet your every need?


..

pressure brings change



I had a brief dream the other night. I was in a car, at a red light. I was waiting for the light to turn green, and I noticed that I wasn't all the way pulled up to the light, there was a good distance between me and the light, like maybe another full car length.

In the dream, I did the obvious- pulled up all the way, and then the light instantly turned green.

The lights are weighted, the pressure from the cars signal change.

I woke up and thought, "Pressure Brings Change."

This was a comfort to me, as I am facing plenty of pressure in my life currently. But I'm reminded that stress, discomfort, and pressure are elements that bring about change in our lives.

I have learned to work with it, not against it.

..

communication

Wholesome communication, consistently at least, is something I struggle with, having come from a home where tempers flare with no warning, and being on the defense was the only way to mentally, and emotionally, survive.

Add to this my calling, my service to God, which requires graceful communication. I have no problem whatsoever reporting anything He shows me. The problem arises when my emotions get involved, which is often.

Add to this the heat I receive in return.

From a selfish human standpoint, I have every right to reply in sarcasm, with just a twinge of hatred, reflecting the tone that was shown to me.

From a Christian standpoint, I have no right. Turning the other cheek is my current struggle, but as with all other obstacles I have encountered on this path I walk, I will overcome this as well.

It's my God I seek to serve and please, not humans.

I'm sharing these verses here. I love to share whatever I've learned in the past or am learning right now.

I printed out these verses. It's 29 pages. I'm going to memorize them.

You thought I was a badbutt* before. Just wait until you see me, once I learn proper communication.

~Amy

*no more bad words. I think ass falls into that category.



• Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few (Ecclesiastes 5:2).
• If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless (James 1:26).
• The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly (Proverbs 15:2).
• The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil (Proverbs 13:28).
• But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned (Matthew 12:37).
• A wise man’s heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction (Proverbs 16:23).
• The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse (Proverbs 10:29).
• A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1).
• Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing (Proverbs 12:18).
• A wise man fears the Lord and shuns evil, but a fool is hotheaded and reckless. A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated (Proverbs 14:16-17).
• A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly (Proverbs 14:29).
• An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins (Proverbs 29:22).
• Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man, lest you learn his ways, and find a snare for yourself (Proverbs 22:24-25).
• A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered (Proverbs 17:27).
• Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him (Proverbs 29:20).
• Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes (Proverbs 26:4-5).
• A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control (Proverbs 29:11).
• A fool’s mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul (Proverbs 18:7).
• A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions (Proverbs 18:2).
• Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue (Proverbs 17:28).
• The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools (Ecclesiastes 9:17).
• Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is that Head, that is, Christ (Ephesians 4:15).
• The wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin (Proverbs 10:8).
• Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly (2 Timothy 2:16).
• When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise (Proverbs 10:19).
• A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of fools blurts out folly (Proverbs 12:23).
• Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29).
• Pleasant words are a honey comb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones (Proverbs 16:24).
• A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver (Proverbs 25:11).
• The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value (Proverbs 10:20.)
• The tongue of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment (Proverbs 10:21).
• The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit (Proverbs 15:4).
• The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked (Proverbs 10:11).
• The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, but the speech of the upright rescues them (Proverbs 12:6).
• The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the hearts of fools (Proverbs 15:7).
• The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse (Proverbs 10:32).
• Better a poor man whose walk is blameless than a fool whose lips are perverse (Proverbs 19:1).
• Put away perversity from your mouth keep corrupt talk far from your lips (Proverbs 4:24).
• He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin (Proverbs 13:3).
• He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity (Proverbs 21:23).
• Rid yourselves of all malice and deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind (1 Peter 2:1).
• A man of perverse heart does not prosper; he whose tongue is deceitful falls into trouble (Proverbs 17:20).
• Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment (Proverbs 12:19).
• The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in men who are truthful (Proverbs 12:22).
• My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness. All of the words of my mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse (Proverbs 8:7-8).
• An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips (Proverbs 24:26).
• The righteous hate what is false, but the wicked bring shame and disgrace (Proverbs 13:5).
• Above all, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your “Yes” be yes, and your “No,” no, or you will be condemned (James 5:12).
• He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy (Proverbs 28:13).
• The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit (Proverbs 18:21).
• A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control (Proverbs 29:11).
• Words from a wise man’s mouth are gracious, but a fool is consumed by his own lips. At the beginning his words are folly; at the end they are wicked madness—and the fool multiplies words. (Ecclesiastes 10:12-13).
• Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city (Proverbs 16:32).
• A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense (Proverbs 19:11).
• Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife (Proverbs 17:1).
• Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5).
• Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him. (Proverbs 26:12).
• When pride comes, then disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. (Proverbs 11:2).
• Before his downfall a man’s heart is proud, but humility comes before honor. (Proverbs 18:2).
• Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall (Proverbs 16:18).
• Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice (Proverbs 13:10).
• If you have played the fool and exalted yourself, or if you have planned evil, clap your hand over your mouth! For as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife (Proverbs 30:32-33).
• What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight (James 4:1-2a).
• Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out (Proverbs 17:14).
• It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel (Proverbs 20:3).
• He who loves a quarrel loves sin; he who builds a high gate invites destruction (Proverbs 17:19).
• If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other (Galatians 5:15).
• The evil man is trapped by his sinful talk, but a righteous man escapes trouble. From the fruit of his lips a man is filled with good things as surely as the work of his hands rewards him (Proverbs 12:13-14).
• If a man pays back evil for good, evil will never leave his house (Proverbs 17:13).
• The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down (Proverbs 14:1).
• A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping (Proverbs 19:13).
• A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand (Proverbs 27:15-16).
• Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife (Proverbs 21:19).
• Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife (Proverbs 25:24).
• Wives, be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight (1 Peter 3:1-4).
• Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers (1 Peter 3:7).
• Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing (1 Peter 3:8-9).
• Each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor [spouse], for we are all members of one body. In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold (Ephesians 4:25-27).
• In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice… Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind (1 Peter 2:11).
• If you have been trapped by what you said, ensnared by the words of your mouth, then do this, my son, to free yourself, since you have fallen into your neighbor’s [spouse's] hands: Go humble yourself; press your plea with your neighbor [spouse]! Allow no sleep to your eyes, no slumber to your eyelids. (Proverbs 6:2-5).
• Remind the people… to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men (Titus 3:2).
• Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe (Philippians 2:14-15).
• Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many (Hebrews 12:14-15).
• Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification (Romans 14:19).
• When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly (1 Corinthians 4:12-13a).
• Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will (2 Timothy 2:23-26).
• And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:30-32).
• Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
• Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up on meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching (Hebrews 10:24-25).
• Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves (Romans 12:9-10).
• Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God (Ephesians 5:1-2).
• I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:1-3).
• If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18).
• The wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness (James 3:17-18).
• Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ (Philippians 1:27a.).
• Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. Greet one another with a holy kiss (2 Corinthians 13:11-12a).
• Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near (Philippians 4:5).
• Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him (Colossians 3:17).
• We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).
• Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man’s rebuke to a listening ear (Proverbs 25:12).
• Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance (Proverbs 1:5).
• The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice (Proverbs 12:15).
• The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly (Proverbs 15:14).
• He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise. (Proverbs 15:31).
• He who answers before listening—that is his folly and his shame (Proverbs 18:13).
• The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out (Proverbs 18:15).
• Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise (Proverbs 19:20).
• Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge (Proverbs 23:12).
• Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.
Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it —he will be blessed in what he does. If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. (James 1:19-26).

...

my childhood diary from 1981


(it's a little thick diary with a roller skate on the front, complete with a big daisy beside it. The lock is broken. I'm sure Dara had something to do with that.)

January 1
Dear Diary,
I will be writing in you for a whole year, so I guess you'll have to know me good. I have shoulder-lengtht hair, (blonde), blue eyes, average height for an eleven-year-old, and just a tad of freckels. I'll wright in you tonight.

Hi! I'm sick with the flu right now. My head hurts alot. Right now I'm in bed. Daddy is putting a shelving unit up in Val & Joe's room. I took 2 aspirins tonight, and 3 vitamin C's. I put one aspirin down the drain (secretly) because they dissolve in your mouth before you swallow them. They taste terrible!



January 2
Dear Diary,
Today I seem to be doing alot better. My fever is gone and Mommy said I'm getting over the flu. Today I read Mommy's old diary. It was so funny! Someday my own kids will read this! Dara & Dawn, her friend, went ice-skating and I couldn't go. Next friday I'm going with Gretchen. I made chocolate-chip cookies while Daddy went to Ovilla. Dara and Dawn are eating spaghetti & Val is showing off like crazy! Right now I'm watching "Welcome Back Kotter". Bye- A.



January 3
Dear Diary,
Tomorrow we are going ice-skating with Gramma. I can't wait! This morning we had blueberry muffins. I had a hot-dog for lunch & a hamburger pattie for dinner. Me and Dara babysitted today. New Year's Eve I babysitted and got $10! I'm all better from the flu, but my throat still hurts. Joe is crying like crazy! Today I was sitting on the couch, and I picked a buger & put it on the couch. Then Val came along and sat on it. She wiggled and whined & wondered what that gooey thing was on her leg. It was so funny!



January 4
Dear Diary,
Today was so much fun! Gramma took me & Dara ice-skating. We stayed there (Plaza of the Americas) for 2 hours. Now every Sunday we're going there. Today I was babysitting Val & Joe, and Daddy was at Ovilla. I was walking by and looked at the window and saw a shadow at the window. I thought it was a crook but it turned out to be Daddy, trying to get in cause I locked all of the doors. I was so scared! I'm going to get my own ice-skates. I can't wait! Love- A.



January 5
DARA JUST NOW GOT HER PERIOD ! 9:15-p.m.
Dear Diary,
School started today. Today we took a test in math. It was division, so I surely didn't do good. Today was so embarrasing! I haven't shaved ANY over the holidays and my legs were so stubble. Everyone was staring at me. When I got home I shaved. I won a contest in school today where we saw who can say our spelling words the fastest. I got down to 6 seconds. I think Eric & Mike, Jon, Jason, & Bruce like me. They're always staring at me. Love- A.


January 6
Dear Diary,
Today was okay. We started a new unit in math. It's division. Today I won a contest in school. It was a contest to see who could read out the spelling words the fastest. I won a sucker. Woooo I don't have any homework. I babysat Valerie today. It's getting to be a daily pastime! I hate Tina. She thinks she's my overseer. I'm almost done with my book. Tomorrow I'll write my report. Sorry this is so boring, but it was a boring day! See you tomorrow- A.'
January 7
Dear Diary,
I think today was okay. I called Gretchen & she is going ice-skating. (with me.) She's never been before & I have to show her how. It's gonna be sow fun! Oh I feel so bad! On the 5th we had a contest. I told Mrs. Witte that my uncle is an auctioneer. Confrences are coming up so I'm afraid she's going to mention it to Mommy. I'm really in for it, huh? This dumb pen is making a real mess on my fingers. I better stop using it! L- Amy


January 8
Dear Diary,
I hate dara! I didn't capitalize her name because dara isn't important. I bought her a record, & she can't even give me a piece of gum! I got an A-100 on my math test, 100 in science! I put lotion on dara's clock button- the one you push to sleep longer. When she pushes it in the morning, she'll think it's bugers or something. Also I'm not talking to her.


January 9
Dear Diary,
today was so fun! After school, Gretchen rode home with me. We went ice-skating at the Plaza of the Americas. It's the 3rd time I've been there. We're also going on Sunday. Every Sunday at 2:30 with Gramma. Me and Gretchen drew some pictures & I finally got my soft-sculpture book. A free fruit basket came with it. Gretchen has BIG tits. Love, Amy


January 10
Dear Diary,
Today was okay. We were going to see 9 To 5 at Redbird, but the tickets were all sold out. We took Gretchen home and went to visit the Roadys. Thank God it's Saturday! Tomorrow we are going ice-skating with Gramma. (Just me and Dara.) I know my way around great there. The clerk knows me good. I can skate backwards. Dara thinks she's so hot! Gretchen & I went skateboarding down the street. Love, A


January 11
Dear Diary,
Today was one of the worst days! We looked so forward to going ice-skating. And you know what? Gramma's car stalled and couldn't get over here from Cedar Creek. Also, Mommy is starting to get sick and me & Dara will have to watch Val & Joe all the time. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. Every Tues. & Friday (I mean Thurs.) I have to babysit Holli-4, John-6, Daniel-2. I get a dollar each time.


January 12
Dear Diary,
Today was ok. For the last half of school, Mrs. Witte had Jury duty. Mrs. Hopp, Jennifer's dumb mother, was our substitute. Sorry about my handwriting, but my dumb right thumb hurts like hell! Boy, if Mommy knew how much I cussed in this diary, she'd french-fry my elbows! Love, Amy

January 13
Dear Diary,
I hate today! First of all, we had a firedrill & it got down to 40 seconds. None of us had our coats on, & it was about 40 degrees! Also, Mrs. Coughlin gave us a division math assignment. I hate division! Mommy helped me with it. Don't tell anybody, but I might attend a course at Mountain View for help on math. Also, I might like Eric, but I really don't know. I'm going to go to bed at 9:00 because I want to sleep good. (Our usual is 10:00.) See ya tomorrow, Amy


January 14
Dear Diary,
This sure was a day to remember! First of all, my 3rd grade math teacher, Sister Adriana, came back to see us. Second of all, we got a new puppy! He is a Rhodesian Ridgeback, like most of all our other dogs. Poor Simba was put to sleep cause he couldn't control anything. Also he was too old. Anyway, Simbatu (the puppy) is light-brown, and soft as velour! We had to go to 2 airports to finally get it. Love, Amy


January 15
Dear Diary,
today was okay. For breakfast I had cereal. (Most of it ended up down the drain!) For lunch at school- wait a minute! Why am I telling the boring crap? Anyway, when we were getting ready to go home from school, Jennifer got hold of Jonathan's ball and Mrs. Witte said no balls are to be thrown in the classroom. Jennifer throwed it and it ended up in the trash! Love, Amy


January 16
Dear Diary,
Today we had so much homework! (Math.) Then on the radio we heard that the hostages might be released. But they weren't. Since Susie is sick, we had to go over there and help. Now I think I have the flue. My head is HOT and I have a sore throat. Mommy took my temperature and I have 101. That's the second time I've had it this year. I probably won't get to go ice-skating on Sunday. Love, "Constantly Sick"


January 17
EVERY TIME I COUGH I WILL WRITE IT DOWN.
Dear Diary, (cough-cough)
I've got a terrible chest cold! I have to take it easy all the time. Ya know what? Janie just got her period! She is in the 5th grade, just like me. Ain't it an early age? (cough) Today Mommy took me up to Joske's and I got a (cough-cough) new coat. It is so pretty! It is a light cream beidge, and it's a parka. It comes down to my waist. I had 3 tons of homework, but it is all finished. Love, (cough) Amy Catherine Sick (cough)


January 18
Dear Diary,
Today I woke up SO sick! Mommy gave me a very cold bath, and 2 thousand sponge baths! I had to stay in bed for the whole day. I'm taking horrible aspirins & medicines. You know what? The hostages are going to be released! I can't wait. That'll be a thing to write about. I'm almost done with my book- Veronica Ganz. Love, Amy

January 19
Dear Diary,
Excuse that mess on the opposite page. I didn't realize how messy it was! I just finished my book, Veronica Ganz. It was about a girl who was a real bully & beat up on boys & everything. Well, today was President Carter's last day in the White House. I bet Reagan is pleased! I seem to be doing better. My throat isn't soare anymore, but I've been coughing like crazy! I probably won't go to school for 2 more days. Love- Doing Better


January 20
Dear Diary,
I stayed home from school again today, but I think I'll be going on Thursday. Today was very important! First, Ronald Reagan became President today, (he took President Carter's place, ) then.....THE HOSTAGES WERE RELEASED! What a day! Love, Amy


January 21
Dear Diary,
I stayed home from school today! I can't wait till tomorrow. I get to go to school. I'll tell you my dream I had last night. Well, I was ice-skating on the highway, and went to our old deer lease, in Lampassas. It was all fixed up! (the cabin.) There was even a baby grande piano. Gretchen, my friend, was with me. I taught her how to play the piano. It popped when Valerie woke me up. Amy


January 22
ME AND DARA GOT INTO A FIGHT AND SHE SAID SHE WOULD NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN AND WE BETTED $1.00 AND I WON!
Dear Diary,
Today was fun! I caught up on all of my work. While the rest of the class took a science test, I had to catch up on math. After school on the kindergarden playground, Angela called me a BITCH! I really hate her! When she was leaving, I said, "I think the same of you!" and when I got home, I told Mommy. She said she's gonna tell Sister Paula on Angela. At 7:30, Daddy took me, Dara, & Valerie to swim at Kimball. I won a $1.00 bet with Dara!


January 23
Dear Diary,
Today was the most fun (and tiring) day! First, in school we didn't have any work, and we baked bread and did a quilting bee. Then after school, me & Dara rode the bus downtown and went ice-skating. I didn't fall once! Then Colleen called & wanted to know if I could go rollerskating. I could and we skated from 7:30 to 11:30! I rode home with her and spent the night. Before we went to bed we watched Devil Dog, Hound of Hell. It sure was scary! Love, Tired


January 24
Dear Diary,
Today I went to the doctor with Colleen. She had an effection of the gaul bladder. We didn't get any breakfast, so we got donuts from Kroger. Mommy came and picked me up at 3:00 and they had just come back from Ovilla. You know what? We might build a house out there. Last night at the skating rink, I forgot to tell you who was there. Bruce, Mark, Janie and Leslie. We sure did have fun! Love, Amy

January 25
Dear Diary,
Today was B+! First I made a cake. It was a layer cake with custard filling, and dark chocolate frosting. Then I washed my hair & took a bath. Me and Mommy went to Skagg's & got ten thousand groceries! When we got home, I helped Mommy with dinner. We had a Chineese dinner. It was so good! We had curried meatballs, and broccoly & mushrooms. I got a scripto and an erasable pen. Love, Amy


January 26
Dear Diary,
I hate Mondays! First of all, the Bobbits are always late. Then after school, me and Dara got into a fight. Then when we came home, Dara was feeding the dogs and the puppy got his hand (paw) stuck in the door and Dara tried to help get it out, it bit her. Now she has cuts all over her hands!
I had tons of math homework! For dinner we had stuffed cabbage rolls. PS- We had a dum substitute. Her name is Mrs. Beecher.


January 27
Dear Diary,
Today was fun! Again, we had dumb old Mrs. Beecher. She's about 70 years old! After school, Mommy picked me up early from school to go to the library. I checked out books on turtles for the Science fair. I made a clay model of the Statue of Liberty. It's really neat! We have to turn them in tomorrow. I think mine's the best! It's a grayish-brown. Well, see you tomorrow, Amy sorry so sloppy


January 28
Dear Diary,
Today was good. Of course, I was late for school because of the Bobbits. I had tardy hall, and forgot to report. Now it will be doubled tomorrow. I really don't care because we stay after school 30 minutes anyway. Sharon came over and toght (excuse my spelling) us how to french braid. Tomorrow morning Mommy is going to french braid me & Dara's hair. I might look stupid! Love, A.



(a few pages torn out)



January 31
Dear Diary,
Today I went to the mall with Pam. I got a bag of candy, and another Mr. Bill pin. Right now I'm spending the night with Michelle. Love, Amy


February 1
Dear Diary,
This morning we had eggs, toast, and french fries. We went skating and I saw Jonathan.


February 2
Dear Diary,
Today is the beginning of Catholic Schools Week. Everyone has to bring pictures of relatives or parents who went to a Catholic school. There are footprints made of construction paper all over the school walls, with last names of everyone on them. Jonathan loves me, and I love him. We are going steady, he is so good looking! Love, Amy


February 3
Dear Diary,
Today I did my math homework on the calculator. The teacher doesn't mind, cause she doesn't know! Ha-Ha. I just finished my book, "The Great Gilly Hopkins". It was so good! About an orphan who steals 100 dollars and runs away to her real mom. Love, Amy


February 4
Dear Diary,
Today I was assigned "Class Artist". Everyone comes around my desk at art to ask for me to do their work for them. I say no because if they never learn art, then they'll keep coming! Well, Love, bye, see ya, Amy


February 5
Dear Diary,
My friends who I eat lunch with & play with are: Leslie, Janie, Colleen, Gretchen, and Jennifer. I just found out that Jennifer is having a slumber party, and didn't invite me. They had a vote, and voted me out. They say I'm a tag-a-long. Golley, they're bitches!



(a few more pages torn out)



February 8
Dear Diary,
I found out that Eric's grandmother is friends with Aunt Mary, and the grandmom corrects our reading folders, let Mary correct some. I got a bad grade. Well, tomorrow is Monday. I hate some Mondays, but not all. Today Michelle took me to see 9 To 5 again. Starring: Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, & Dolly Parton. Love, Amy

February 9

(drew a cartoon picture of me & Jonathan kissing. by the way, Jonathan never liked me. I liked him. Eric, however, had a flaming crush on me, and of course, I detested him. Story of my life.)



February 10
Dear Diary,
Today I got a 100 on my math test. We all went down to Sister Paula Marie's office & got candy. While going down, I asked Mark what he got on his, and it flew away and I grabbed it, but missed it, & ended up squeezing a fourth grade boy's butt! Love, Amy


February 11
Brrrr....
Dear Diary,
It has been so cold! This morning it was so cold, I got my clothes out and changed into my uniform undercovers! Now I know for sure Jonathan likes me. He always stares at me and gives me paper & all that. Now my favorite number is 22 because:
A.-1, M.-13, Y.-23
+
J.-10, O.-15, N.-14, A.-1, T.-20, H.-8, A.-1, N.-14
And our initials added up make 22.



February 12
Dear Diary,
Today I had fun. Tomorrow, all of the girls are going to wear pony-tails & red ribbons. Yesterday, we wore pig-tails and green ribbons. I made a 100 on my math test! Right now, I am in my room listening to "Cars." My cat Max is laying here & I think he likes the soft beat. Sometimes I get scared at night, so Max always sleeps with me. Love, Amy



Friday!
February 13
Dear Diary,
Today was terrible! First of all, Eric told me to stick it, and then called me a bitch. I hate that bastard! Dara is a freak. Amy



February 14
Dear Diary,
Me & Kristi made a berry factory. We each have an office, & we make berries. Not for real, but for pretend. Today, me & all went to Susie's house. Me & Dara played 2 games of pool, & I won the first, she won the second. Bye, Amy


February 15
Dear Diary,
I'll tell you my dream I had last night. We were all in the house, and war started. (Our enemy I didn't know.) Soldiers came busting down houses. Finally, they came to ours. We were carried off to camp in big trucks. I have been having weird dreams lately! Love, Amy


February 16
I hate Mondays, but not this one!
Dear Diary,
Today was okay. On P.E., we played B.B.S., and the other team won. Mrs. Witte asked me to make a sign. The school made me the artist. When I came home, me & Kristi played berry factory. I made a 100 in Science, & a 63 in Social Studies. Bye, Amy


February 17
Dear Diary,
too tired to write tonight. anyway, it was a boring day zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


February 18
Dear Diary,
Today was fun. After school, I played softball with Kristi. Then Greg came over and he played too. I think I don't love Jonathan anymore. He's still a good friend, but he is not as athletic as Greg. I must be a two-timer, but I think I like Greg now. I don't know if he likes me or not. Amy
February 19
Dear Diary,
Today was a B-. When I got home from school, just then Mommy told me to babysit Joe and Valerie. She wouldn't even let me eat! I played softball with Colleen and Dara. Then I came in and took a bath & washed my hair. This week has gone by so fast! Tomorrow's already going to be Friday! Amy



February 20
Dear Diary,
Today was horrible. When I came home from school, Me & Dara had to babysit. Michelle came over & we jumped with Val. I was going to tell Mommy she was coming over & Mommy didn't already know she was already here and we were going to put Michelle outside, and right after we called over at her house & just then, she would walk in the door. But bitchy Dara spoiled it. Michelle almost had to go home cause I forgot to feed Valerie.



February 27
Dear Diary,
sorry I haven't written in you so long. Today I went to Dr. Longly & got 4 teeth pulled, then I got stitches. Amy



March 1
Dear Diary,
Jonathan loves me. I saw him at the skating rink. He asked me for couples. He's adorable! Since we're moving at the end of the year I'm going to tell him I love him. Amy


March 3
Dear Diary,
I'm not going to tell Mommy, but 1 stitch came out of my mouth. It's not bad, because it's allmost healed up. Eric...that boy likes me. I can't stand him! Yuck! He wrote me this:

(drew a sketch of a piece of notebook paper that says our names at the top, then the words "I love you")



March 9
Dear Diary,
So sorry I haven't written in you for so long!! I got 4 teeth pulled, Pres. Reagan was shot, and I got a job! Me and Sissy G. design cards for Hallmark! Amy

>note: Sissy took one of my drawings to her mom, who showed it to a friend, who had supposed connections to the greeting card industry and who had the idea of using children's art for a line of card designs. It never panned out. Nothing more was said about it. However, I repeatedly asked Sissy about it, day after day, until she had to ask me to quit asking. This brought on untold frustration in my life, planting a deep need to create greeting cards one day, just to make it happen. It finally did. At the age of 29 I designed my own strange little line, got a copier/printer, and churned them out, all on my own. Sold a few. Just enough to say I did it. Then, like with everything else, I got rid of the copier and trashed the designs. Recently my grandmother unearthed a box full of these designs, and I was about to dispose of them the other day, until my mom grabbed it and took it to her room to hide them, saying, "No!" <




March 10
Songs From Camp:

1) Weenie Man

I know a weenie man, he owns a weenie stand
He sells most anything, from hotdogs, on down the line
Someday I'll change his life
I'll be his weenie-wife
Oh how I love that weenie man!
hot dog, o boy, almond joy, what a slueth, baby ruth, humdinger butterfinger, that's all, Peter Paul


2) Ragtime Cowboy
(left this blank, abandoned song listing)




July 17
Dear Diary,
I'm ashamed that I haven't written in you for 3 months. I had an operation on my foot again. They put a metal deelybopper in. Every 2 weeks I go in and he turns them. That makes my toe long! I went to camp also, Camp Tres Rios. We had so much fun! My favorite counselor is Big Tex. I have started to develop. I don't like it either! Dr. Gray said that I'd get my period sometime this year. We moved to DeSoto on Post Oak Lane. And I'm going to go to DeSoto Intermediate. Also, I'm going to be in band. I'm going to play the flute. I got lots of new clothes. Laura came back from France a couple days ago. She's my piano teacher's grandaughter. MiYoung's coming over at 9:00 tonight. We got Veu. We're going to get cable. Love, Amy
WHOEVER IS READING THIS, I HOPE THE WORST OF YOU! But if I'm dead and you're one of those archelogists, please make me famous like Anne Frank. Just don't let my mom see it. (She might be dead, too!)




October 10
Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy B.D. Dear Amy, Happy birthday to me!




November 1
Dear Diary,



December 27
Gregg's birthday






(written in the back pages:)
Hiding Places

behind the entry desk
under the entry desk
in my closet
under my bed
in Val's room
in the kitchen
in Mommy's room

People to Hide From:
Elissa, and all
Sonny & little kids



Mommy forgot to punish me for not doing my drawers neat. HA HA HA HA HA HA